Examples of ENNUI
- <the kind of ennui that comes from having too much time on one’s hands and too little will to find something productive to do>
Origin of ENNUI
Examples of ENNUI
Origin of ENNUI
So much of my time with Soul is spent apart and frankly …it sucks. Big time. Now I can be mature about this and say that the distance of our day is a good thing for our hearts but let’s be real here – I want to sit in my big office chair, squench my eyes closed really tight and stamp my feet like a 3 year old having a good and proper fit.
*ahem, smoothing skirt down* but I don’t. (at least not when people are walking by my office and if I do its in 2 minute intervals, usually held around noon when most of the interns and staff are at lunch.)
Yesterday, Soul sent me a txt message while I was at work in reply to how her day was progressing. She said, “Good mornin Love. How r u 2dy? Thank you for my sweet suprzs – sunshine in the rain.”
And after listening to the song like a gagillion times – I had to stop myself from “coming down ill” while at work and going home.
Much of my time is spent at work. Much of our time is spent wishing I work closer to home. *someday babygirl ….I promise*
And so you can see where the mania derives from – I give you a day in the life of Jen.
Here is how my day rolls out:
3:30am-4:48am – something inevitably wakes me up out of a dead sleep for no good reason.
Not like a burglar is a good thing, but its better than your dog sending off a pre it’s-time-to-get-up-bark for the hell of it.
5:00am – my blackberry goes off with a tiny chime and a loud vibrate. (I have a hearing problem so the vibrate is not for amusement)
5:08am – I actually get my ass out of bed (trying to scroll from Snooze to Dismiss on a blackberry w/o having the light shine in Soul’s face is nigh on impossible – and that is why I only do it once.)
5:08-5:10am – (series of steps here)
But there’s more!
5:30am – 5:45am
TIME: 5:49am (and that may be 5 min. more as Gerty’s clock runs 5 min. fast)
From here I drive to the train station 30 min. away where I board the morning commuter line at 6:38 (roughly).
I nod to my elderly conductor man who STILL won’t give me his name after riding the train for 2 years!
I select my seat. 1st car, left side, 4 windows down, with just enough train wall to sleep on w/o your face freezing to the glass.
I put the seat in “recline” (HA!) position. Take out makeup bag and put on make up. (takes 3 min).
Flash monthly pass to conductor with a “Good morning Sir!”
And then go back to sleep (kinda) for the next 2 hours. I cat nap really. Being 5’10” is impossible to sit anywhere happily for long.
Train arrives in station at 8:15 am. I walk with the hordes as if we were leaving for the work camps, shoulder to shoulder on each others heels. Walk outside of Union Station (sometimes I stop in Au Bon Pain for a yoke-less sandwich first). Walk 2 blocks to catch the $1 commuter bus. Read. People watch. Appreciate the sky. ETC.
Get to office. Buzz in at lobby after greeting April the lobby receptionist. Buzz in at elevator to go to the 9th floor. Buzz in at front door to get into said office. And here…I spend the next 8+ hours working for an international non-profit organization raising money for global development.
I eat in the kitchen for lunch and sometimes engage in humorous dialog with my co-workers; but most of the time..not. I’m an odd man out here. Over 40 but not a manager. Whereas all of the non-managers are 20-28 y.o. So I’m ancient! They were shocked that I have twin sons who are 20 y.o. I have to say…that – makes me smile. Thankfully I am told I do NOT look my age…but that is an ego blog for another day.
Today is about Soul being a very patient and loving woman.
While I’m doing all of my doings. She is home – cleaning, taking care of the critters, running errands, going food shopping, and last night – she rearranged furniture. (which is odd for me to get used to as I AM the one who normally does that type of thing).
When I get home after reversing the above order of things – but with a lively bunch called the Aberdeen Crew – who will also be introduced at a later blog post – Soul is in the kitchen reheating my dinner at 9pm.
Now – how this June Cleaver shit started, I do not know. I recall the first day I got home after she moved in with me…she greeted me at the door with a drink in hand for me, took my car keys and my blackberry away from me and ushered me to the dining room table. *shaking head* Ok..(dusting off the titles here) …I am a card carrying femme, DNA Irish-Catholic, Pagan, feminist, a bit center of left, dye in the wool democrat. I was raised by a “everyone fend for themselves” kinda mom who we revere as our Matron to this very second. I love men (to a point) and can enjoy their intellectual company, their real friendship, etc. So I am not a man-hater. (I will just never again ever sleep with or perform any acts of intimacy with one ever again.) So to have Soul greet me in this manner and for me to enjoy it…well…it was like a Catholic taking the host out of their mouth and putting it in the pocket for later. It just isn’t done!
Shamelessly I enjoy it every time it happens. *shit eating grin* So I’m a hypocrite! So sue me!
At dinner, I sit (after ensuring that a full dialog is given to the appreciation of this gastronomical delight before me) and share with Soul my day. She does as well but with not nearly as many words. (alas, I talk even more than I write)
After dinner if time is given, we do silly couple’s things. Dance in the living room with each other, make out on the sofa or in the kitchen, play with the dog, show a website we’ve seen that has some cute wedding idea to consider, bitch about how long my commute is every day, plan what we would do if we had more money, etc.
Then Soul preps up her bath while I do the dishes by hand. (dead dishwasher and I like it that way. Washing dishes is very zen for me).
After Soul is done her bath, I take my shower with what little hot water is left. brrrrrr!
And then its lights out at 12:35am.
Sometimes we talk to each other about “heart” things. Wedding plans, future life plans, how we feel about something, finishing up the apologies from an argument, talking about if I like the furniture placement or should it be moved back, our families…life.
When intimacy takes place during the week – and you know it does – I happily sacrifice sleep for our time together.
The weekends are jammed with tons of date-style stuff, mixed with domestic chores usually involving Lowes or IKEA or Pier One.
Sometimes we fight. Sometimes we cry.
Always we laugh.
Always we love.
And sometimes…there’s Sunshine in the Rain.
Thank you kitten! I love you.